A Better Way to Teach Kids about Sex by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Deseret Book Company
Published: 2018-07-02T16:00:00+00:00

2. Linda K. Burton, “We’ll Ascend Together,” Ensign, May 2015.

3. McConkie, “Courage to Choose Modesty.”

Emphasizing how evil a habit is may be the least effective way to help someone learn to eliminate inappropriate behavior.

This may very well be the chapter that is the most uncomfortable for parents to read but also the most important for giving parents the opportunity to have a positive influence on their children becoming sexually whole. Why is this? Well, masturbation—which is when an individual touches or otherwise stimulates his or her own body to increase sexual arousal—is likely to be one of the first sexual experiences that individuals have in their lives and the most common sexual experience individuals have prior to marriage. Some people find this topic so unnatural that it is quite repulsive to them, and it’s even difficult to say the word “masturbation.” While we suspect such a strong reaction to the term probably comes from harsh conditioning or shame-based parenting, by approaching the topic in an open way, we are not suggesting that we think masturbation is acceptable or preferable; rather, we are acknowledging that it is common. Consequently, we will teach this topic more directly than it has been addressed in the past, because the mishandling of this issue is one of the primary ways that LDS individuals’ sexual development goes awry.

According to Sharon Lamb and Aleksandra Plocha, experts on sexuality during childhood, approximately 40% of girls and 60% of boys masturbate between the ages of two and five, as reported by their mothers. However, because mothers are very likely to underreport this behavior, it is likely that these numbers are much higher in reality. It is safe to say that the majority of young children have masturbated by the time they reach elementary school. We do not have accurate information to present statistics on how common masturbation is among LDS individuals, but we feel confident in saying that most LDS individuals, both male and female, will masturbate in their lifetime. We say this confidently because of our direct experience with thousands of LDS youth and because of our familiarity with national statistics on this issue.

While from one perspective it is as natural to touch erogenous zones of our body (such as our genitals and breasts) as it is to touch our own hand, from a spiritual perspective, we believe and teach that sexual arousal is something we are working hard to restrict to a process that only occurs in marriage. So while our children are very likely at some point to touch their genitals or other body parts and then feel some arousal that leads to touching these body parts repeatedly, we have the goal to help them learn that the sexual arousal process is intended to be shared only between married partners. It is also very natural for partners who are attracted to one another who start kissing and hugging to then desire sexual intercourse. Even so, we do not imply that because it is natural, we should accept that this is what should happen before marriage.

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